I lost my job. This has been the hardest time of my life emotionally, financially and physically. I have been so depressed lately and I thank my sister and friends for their encouraging words. Alot of people don't know but when I was younger I attempted suicide. I wrote a letter and took a bunch of medication. Nothing happened. I remember crying and feeling like a failure because I couldn't even do that right. I kept my letter as a reminder to never stoop so low. I was going through papers and throwing them away and recently came across it. So many emotions ran through my head and I broke down completely. As bad as it is, i know it could be worse and I have a lot to be thankful for. I now know that.
My 18 year old cousin who I'm very close to attempted suicide last Saturday and it broke my heart. I always tried to be there for her but she felt like no one was there for her. I understand though. Sometimes you can have smiling faces all around you and still feel alone. I've been there too many times. I have learned and grown a solid relationship with God and I know that everything I go through is a life lesson and I will soon see brighter days.
Alot of people have recently been reaching out to me saying I'm MIA. I guess I was ashamed and embarrassed that I lost my job. I can't do the things I used to with a restriction on cash. No clubs, bottle poppin, splurging on bullshit, taking vacations.. none of that. I build this wall around me and have kept everyone out, when these are the times that I need those people more than ever. I've been feeling lonely alot lately. Those people who I thought had my back no matter what, don't. I guess something as simple as losing my job my eyes to the bullshit around me. Like the old saying goes when your on top everyone is in your face smiling, but when you hit the bottom no one is there.
That's how I feel. No need for anyones sympathy. I don't need any pitty parties or anyone feeling bad for me. I know it will get better in time. I'm learning the importance of stocks and bonds and managing my money instead of splurging on frivolous things that have no value. I'm only 23 but I swear I have learned alot about myself and those around me. I'm still evolving.
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
3.26.2011
8.01.2009
Things i've learned
life is too short not to be thankful for every moment
dont hold grudges.
friends really do become family.
a simple smile can brighten someones day.
love is blind.
karma is truly a bitch.
the ONLY opinion that matters is my own.
follow your dreams and if someone is standing in your way REMOVE their ass.
dont tell everyone EVERYTHING.
dont kiss and tell.
love all trust few.
put God first.
everything happens for a reason.
tomorrow will be better than today.
think before you speak.
be careful what you ask for.
the end. . .
dont hold grudges.
friends really do become family.
a simple smile can brighten someones day.
love is blind.
karma is truly a bitch.
the ONLY opinion that matters is my own.
follow your dreams and if someone is standing in your way REMOVE their ass.
dont tell everyone EVERYTHING.
dont kiss and tell.
love all trust few.
put God first.
everything happens for a reason.
tomorrow will be better than today.
think before you speak.
be careful what you ask for.
the end. . .
7.22.2009
Grab a pen and some paper and take notes
I used to think about immature things
Y'know like, do you love me? Do you want me?
Are you gon' call me like you said you would?
Is this really your real phone number?
WAIT A MINUTE MOTHAF$&@!@##$# .....
-IF I LIE and give u the wrong number.. dont confront me telling me i did.
-IF <--- i do give you my number PLEASE dont ask me when should you call, or when it is a good time for me?
-Dont ask my friends for my number
-Dont have your friend come up to me to tell me you want to talk to me. (Were grown now boo boo)
-If your trying to talk to me DONT grab my arm, make birdcalls, dog whistles any other weird ass sound, Scream AYEEEE SHAWTY, Yo, Aye you with the red hair, Lil Mama in the (pick a color) ...you will get ignored
-iF im backing up.. that means your too close
-Please dont whisper in my ear.. it freaks me out
-Dont ask me if i like you.
-Dont act insecure and think im your girlfriend just because we had sex
-Dont call asking do i have any "buddies" for your homeboy. This is NOT MATCHMAKER.COM
-Dont call and TELL ME your about to come over. Nigga ask.. thanks
SORRY I HAD TO VENT.
4.30.2009
dear government
dear government,
[CLEARS THROAT] ummmm so i'm going to need for you to STOP trying to scare us and kill off the human race in general. I dont even know when all these epidemics happened but every year its a new one. Aids, West Nile, anthrax, mad cow, bird flu. nowwwwww Swine Flu. U see the pattern? Black people.. LOL let me stop. But fareal I'm tired of this.. Im not trying to walk around this summer looking like one of Micheal Jacksons children.. [covering my face] especially since the swine flu has been found in my state of residence. Im sure next spring/ summer it will be something else. they are just trying to eliminate the human race in general. so dear government please stop. thanks
sincerely, Amber
3.17.2009
Help......
i've been using myxer to get ringers FOREVER! All of a sudden it saying my phone isnt capable.. so people whats other websites to get ringers. (besides 3gforfree and gritzandeggs)
2.22.2009
scattered thoughts
☆I dont want to return any of his phone calls or text messages. (prior post)
☆im so used to not being happy.. when i am happy i expect something bad?
☆Yay Solange's video T.O.N.Y. is the mtv jam of the week!! And I might be going to Chicago this week to see her in concert. =)
☆Two Videos i love to watch are
kid cudi - day and night
Kanye West - welcome to heartbreak
☆Teedra Moses is one of the most slept on artist. Her cd Complex Simplicity pretty much sums my complex ass life.. its therapeutic
☆Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
-And why do i always find my impatient ass in the rush hour traffic?
☆Isn't Justin Timberlake is the finest white man alive?
☆Why is the alphabet in that particular order and why isn't it in that order on the keyboard?
☆Beyonce is a diva we all know that but i like her sister Solange better.
☆ Numerology damn interesting to me
☆Why does 99.99% of EVERYONE think they are cute, sexy, fine, that dude, that chick.. has swag.. ie. yet your ugly, no one knows you and your dusty?
☆Can vegans eat animal crackers?
☆why do people label other people weird because they are actually creative and an individual instead of conforming to society's standards?
☆Can you cry under water?
☆My biggest celeb crushes are Chingy (yes Chingy), Trey Songz, Tyga, Derek Luke, Juelz Santana, Travis McCoy and Jackie Long. Pure sexiness. [minus the host of athletes i adore]
☆My female crushes are Lauren London, Adriana Lima, Reagan Gomez, and Kerry Washington NO HOMO =)
☆why is there a liquor store on every corner? ..rhetorical
☆Whats the point of being insecure?
-"The prettiest people do the ugliest things" -Kanye to the.
☆Speaking of Kanye.. why is he so damn arrogant yet thats why i love him so?
☆Why has VH-1 become a reality dating service for artist who fell off the map?
☆why did Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 break up? They were so perfect for each other.
☆Why do we have leap years
☆why do people get famous off of youtube and sextapes?
☆Lauryn Hill REALLY NEEDS TO get her shit together and bless us with a new cd!
☆why do ppl drink before going out to drink?
☆Why THE EFF did Sister Souljah kill my thoughts of what my perfect version of Midnight looked like (in The Coldest Winter Ever) by putting that whack ass pewney ass dude on the cover of her book Midnight?
☆why do ppl with kids only talk about their kids and expect ppl without kids to care?
☆why is everybody trying to act brand new? isn’t that being fake?
☆why do girls gel down they’re edges? It CANT be baby hair when your 20+ yrs old!!!
☆When will people realize having too much pride will only hurt you?
☆Why do ppl with ugly feet wear flip flops & sandals?
☆why do people think these commercial ass rappers are the best rappers alive? anyone can put similes and adjectives together. -I'll give you Jay but Lupe, Common, Nas, Talib, Mos Def.. they are the best rappers alive. listen and learn something.
☆why do i know more about celebrities lifes then my own "friends and families?" just sad.
☆when will guys notice that the thuglife look is whack? Gold teeth, braids and saggin is soooo played. Sorry Plies. you disgust me.
☆why is twitter so damn stupid yet i love it and im addicted?
☆why is "Superhead" coming out with YET ANOTHER BOOK! She isnt playing about her 15 minutes!
☆When will people realize that being smart is actually okay. Its "cool" to be smart and have the ability to hold an intellectual and stimulating conversation
☆"Tell me something.. Where ya boss at?" -Beyonce
☆Why is it so hard to grow up but so easy to act childish?
☆Why does Ashanti laugh after every sentence she says?
☆Am i the only one who hates watching 106 & Park because of Rocsi?
☆Fashion wise.. gotta love Solange, Zoe Kravitz, Rihanna, The Simmons Girls, Estelle, Kerry Washington and Kanye.
☆BUT why does every girl look like watered down versions of Rihanna? Hair cut, star and roman numeral tattoos. And every dude is walking around looking like mini Kanyes? Be yourself. DAMN
☆Why does every BLACK girl think they can model and damn near every BLACK dude think he can rap?
☆Doesn't the Obamas give us loveless people hope?
-Love especially black love is a beautiful thing.
☆im so used to not being happy.. when i am happy i expect something bad?
☆Yay Solange's video T.O.N.Y. is the mtv jam of the week!! And I might be going to Chicago this week to see her in concert. =)
☆Two Videos i love to watch are
kid cudi - day and night
Kanye West - welcome to heartbreak
☆Teedra Moses is one of the most slept on artist. Her cd Complex Simplicity pretty much sums my complex ass life.. its therapeutic
☆Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
-And why do i always find my impatient ass in the rush hour traffic?
☆Isn't Justin Timberlake is the finest white man alive?
☆Why is the alphabet in that particular order and why isn't it in that order on the keyboard?
☆Beyonce is a diva we all know that but i like her sister Solange better.
☆ Numerology damn interesting to me
☆Why does 99.99% of EVERYONE think they are cute, sexy, fine, that dude, that chick.. has swag.. ie. yet your ugly, no one knows you and your dusty?
☆Can vegans eat animal crackers?
☆why do people label other people weird because they are actually creative and an individual instead of conforming to society's standards?
☆Can you cry under water?
☆My biggest celeb crushes are Chingy (yes Chingy), Trey Songz, Tyga, Derek Luke, Juelz Santana, Travis McCoy and Jackie Long. Pure sexiness. [minus the host of athletes i adore]
☆My female crushes are Lauren London, Adriana Lima, Reagan Gomez, and Kerry Washington NO HOMO =)
☆why is there a liquor store on every corner? ..rhetorical
☆Whats the point of being insecure?
-"The prettiest people do the ugliest things" -Kanye to the.
☆Speaking of Kanye.. why is he so damn arrogant yet thats why i love him so?
☆Why has VH-1 become a reality dating service for artist who fell off the map?
☆why did Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 break up? They were so perfect for each other.
☆Why do we have leap years
☆why do people get famous off of youtube and sextapes?
☆Lauryn Hill REALLY NEEDS TO get her shit together and bless us with a new cd!
☆why do ppl drink before going out to drink?
☆Why THE EFF did Sister Souljah kill my thoughts of what my perfect version of Midnight looked like (in The Coldest Winter Ever) by putting that whack ass pewney ass dude on the cover of her book Midnight?
☆why do ppl with kids only talk about their kids and expect ppl without kids to care?
☆why is everybody trying to act brand new? isn’t that being fake?
☆why do girls gel down they’re edges? It CANT be baby hair when your 20+ yrs old!!!
☆When will people realize having too much pride will only hurt you?
☆Why do ppl with ugly feet wear flip flops & sandals?
☆why do people think these commercial ass rappers are the best rappers alive? anyone can put similes and adjectives together. -I'll give you Jay but Lupe, Common, Nas, Talib, Mos Def.. they are the best rappers alive. listen and learn something.
☆why do i know more about celebrities lifes then my own "friends and families?" just sad.
☆when will guys notice that the thuglife look is whack? Gold teeth, braids and saggin is soooo played. Sorry Plies. you disgust me.
☆why is twitter so damn stupid yet i love it and im addicted?
☆why is "Superhead" coming out with YET ANOTHER BOOK! She isnt playing about her 15 minutes!
☆When will people realize that being smart is actually okay. Its "cool" to be smart and have the ability to hold an intellectual and stimulating conversation
☆"Tell me something.. Where ya boss at?" -Beyonce
☆Why is it so hard to grow up but so easy to act childish?
☆Why does Ashanti laugh after every sentence she says?
☆Am i the only one who hates watching 106 & Park because of Rocsi?
☆Fashion wise.. gotta love Solange, Zoe Kravitz, Rihanna, The Simmons Girls, Estelle, Kerry Washington and Kanye.
☆BUT why does every girl look like watered down versions of Rihanna? Hair cut, star and roman numeral tattoos. And every dude is walking around looking like mini Kanyes? Be yourself. DAMN
☆Why does every BLACK girl think they can model and damn near every BLACK dude think he can rap?
☆Doesn't the Obamas give us loveless people hope?
-Love especially black love is a beautiful thing.
1.25.2009
Am i a geek or what?
Am i the only person who still has folders from high school. (i graduated 3 years ago) its mainly english essays, sociology and psychology essays. I have like every essay i've ever written. I just enjoy writing. Loser huh? Anywho I was rambling through old psychology packets and found papers on determining if your left brained or right brained. Its called Color Test. I remember i couldnt do it the first couple of times.
Are you left brained or right brained? Take this test and see how well you do! Your aim is to say what color each word IS, not what color the word SAYS. So if you look at PURPLE you would say WHITE since thats the color thats displayed.
Your supposed to read through them quickly and smoothly, about one a second without hesitation. If you have a speech impediment this is not the test for you. lol
This is a left to right conflict. The right side of your brain tries to say the color while the left insists on reading the word.
Tell me how u did.
Are you left brained or right brained? Take this test and see how well you do! Your aim is to say what color each word IS, not what color the word SAYS. So if you look at PURPLE you would say WHITE since thats the color thats displayed.
Your supposed to read through them quickly and smoothly, about one a second without hesitation. If you have a speech impediment this is not the test for you. lol
This is a left to right conflict. The right side of your brain tries to say the color while the left insists on reading the word.
Tell me how u did.
1.08.2009
Bang Bang Shoot Em.
I loooooooooove Sade. [the singer] one of my favorite songs of all time is By your side. The song is so beautiful. Its calming to me. Although I dont have anyone actually by myside "boyfriend or significant other" It still feels good to me. IDK kind of weird i guess but i just love it [ im listening to it now.. im always listening to music] listen with me
AnywhoToday.. nothing really happended
My bestfriend and i have been making promises to ourselves to not eat fast food during the week. And we actually made it [ so proud of us] i need to lose some major pounds before March. So i can look cute in my dress. Oh and i need to be skintee by June {when i move to ATL} im determined!!!
I had to work my slave shift today. 3-11:30 or whenever your last call is. I work for sprint for the millioneth time {if u didnt know} And i HATEEEE IT! (*note* if your a sprint customer and you call in all the EFFIN TIME for STUPID EFFIN REASONS.. then shame on you! I cant stand your ass!!) Well today was actually fun. I kept putting my annoying customers on hold to talk to my {soon to be roommate} we clowned the entire day.. And our supervisor asked us to come over his house for a house warming {in the near future} i was like ughh im not buying u shit! {he's a young black, short fat guy who thinks he's that nigga} he was like i dont want shit from you just come and get fucked up. I was like oh liquor well im down! lol so trifilin. but i love free liquor its the best! lol but this nigga bet not try shit or i will bring out my kung-fu karate chop on his ass! lol
Oh and its this really cute guy who works with me. As my friend Salene would say, he's The "bang bang shoot em up" type lol.
Me and the roomie Salene just look and admire him all day. Tattoos everywhere, can dress and drives a bmw [helll-o $$$$] naw but i vowed to never talk to a guy i worked with again. it NEVER works out! he's just nice to look at though.
Now its Thursday night and im freakin off tomorrow and i have nothing to do!
So i guess i'll just visit my blog roll and catch up
[tmrw]
my sisters bff and i have to go and try on our freakin dresses. i dont want to because i have to wake up early when i should be sleepin in, but whatever! Oh and i know im shopping at the mall whenever were done with that! i saw theee cutest boots and i must go grab them
well im rambling.. so tootles!
xoxo Amber ---->> i miss the Jayne Dough signature<--- wasnt it so creative of me? lol.
AnywhoToday.. nothing really happended
My bestfriend and i have been making promises to ourselves to not eat fast food during the week. And we actually made it [ so proud of us] i need to lose some major pounds before March. So i can look cute in my dress. Oh and i need to be skintee by June {when i move to ATL} im determined!!!
I had to work my slave shift today. 3-11:30 or whenever your last call is. I work for sprint for the millioneth time {if u didnt know} And i HATEEEE IT! (*note* if your a sprint customer and you call in all the EFFIN TIME for STUPID EFFIN REASONS.. then shame on you! I cant stand your ass!!) Well today was actually fun. I kept putting my annoying customers on hold to talk to my {soon to be roommate} we clowned the entire day.. And our supervisor asked us to come over his house for a house warming {in the near future} i was like ughh im not buying u shit! {he's a young black, short fat guy who thinks he's that nigga} he was like i dont want shit from you just come and get fucked up. I was like oh liquor well im down! lol so trifilin. but i love free liquor its the best! lol but this nigga bet not try shit or i will bring out my kung-fu karate chop on his ass! lol
Oh and its this really cute guy who works with me. As my friend Salene would say, he's The "bang bang shoot em up" type lol.
Me and the roomie Salene just look and admire him all day. Tattoos everywhere, can dress and drives a bmw [helll-o $$$$] naw but i vowed to never talk to a guy i worked with again. it NEVER works out! he's just nice to look at though.
Now its Thursday night and im freakin off tomorrow and i have nothing to do!
So i guess i'll just visit my blog roll and catch up
[tmrw]
my sisters bff and i have to go and try on our freakin dresses. i dont want to because i have to wake up early when i should be sleepin in, but whatever! Oh and i know im shopping at the mall whenever were done with that! i saw theee cutest boots and i must go grab them
well im rambling.. so tootles!
xoxo Amber ---->> i miss the Jayne Dough signature<--- wasnt it so creative of me? lol.
1.04.2009
Save the drama for yo mama
¤i hate drama
i think nothing is ever solved. i think its a waste of energy
¤words are just words.
instead of being defensive try to understand.
¤when u point fingers, remember 3 are pointing back at you
who are u to judge anyone?
¤Misery loves company.
¤what goes around comes back around.
¤everything happens for a reason
¤love is pain
¤take off the makeup. be yourself
¤rain washes away the tears
¤thank you. sometimes thats all people need to hear
¤if u dont give a fuck, u wouldnt have to announce that u dont.
...it means u do
¤if something is bothering u. speak up then.
-when u bottle shit up it makes it worse
¤friends come and go
-hope you make the cut
¤forgive but never forget
¤anythang dont kill me makes me better. motivation
-i still blast that song
¤she never wants the good guy who clearly likes her.
¤i aint saying she a gold digger but she aint messin with no broke nigga.
-kanye wrote that for me! lol
¤second chances they dont never matter people never change. -paramore
¤everything happens in threes: marriage, death, pregnancy, luck.
¤music is food to the ear
-music is my boyfriend!
¤dont rush anything that is important to you. take your time and do it right.
¤we only get 2 true loves. 3 if your lucky.
¤can u think of anything on your own?
¤how can u give advice on a situation u never been in?
¤sometimes listening is better speaking
-stfu sometimes
¤how can anyone hate the world? douche.
¤cellphones have voicemails. if its important leave one.
¤creativity is a gift from god
-you cant jock originality!
¤when it comes down to it let them think what they want. if they care enough to bother with what i do, then im already better then them anyway- Marilyn Monroe
i think nothing is ever solved. i think its a waste of energy
¤words are just words.
instead of being defensive try to understand.
¤when u point fingers, remember 3 are pointing back at you
who are u to judge anyone?
¤Misery loves company.
¤what goes around comes back around.
¤everything happens for a reason
¤love is pain
¤take off the makeup. be yourself
¤rain washes away the tears
¤thank you. sometimes thats all people need to hear
¤if u dont give a fuck, u wouldnt have to announce that u dont.
...it means u do
¤if something is bothering u. speak up then.
-when u bottle shit up it makes it worse
¤friends come and go
-hope you make the cut
¤forgive but never forget
¤anythang dont kill me makes me better. motivation
-i still blast that song
¤she never wants the good guy who clearly likes her.
¤i aint saying she a gold digger but she aint messin with no broke nigga.
-kanye wrote that for me! lol
¤second chances they dont never matter people never change. -paramore
¤everything happens in threes: marriage, death, pregnancy, luck.
¤music is food to the ear
-music is my boyfriend!
¤dont rush anything that is important to you. take your time and do it right.
¤we only get 2 true loves. 3 if your lucky.
¤can u think of anything on your own?
¤how can u give advice on a situation u never been in?
¤sometimes listening is better speaking
-stfu sometimes
¤how can anyone hate the world? douche.
¤cellphones have voicemails. if its important leave one.
¤creativity is a gift from god
-you cant jock originality!
¤when it comes down to it let them think what they want. if they care enough to bother with what i do, then im already better then them anyway- Marilyn Monroe
12.18.2008
didn`t cha know
Random Facts About Me
ENJOY!
•i was named after the yellowish, goldish "Amber" colored school bus lights that my dad saw after leaving the hospital to go to work.. after i was born. better than Fabien, Antoinette and Jazmin.(other name choices)
•im 21 but dont look, feel or act 21
•im soooo mean and blunt to ppl i dont care about, or if someone is getting on my nerves.
•im weird and random
•i've never dated anyone darker than me. i used to be so picky. im over that stage now
•im afraid to get fat
•i watch ATL and Love Jones all the time
•i love gangsta bang bang shoot em up movies
•i cry like a baby when i read books and during movies
•i hate when ppl stare at me, someone wants wat i want simply b/c i want it, try to prove me wrong, dirty fingernails and long fingernails on guys, dirty shoes, wrinkled clothes and dirty ears (just to name a few pet peeves)
•i love gay male friends! they are the best
•i love chicken lol thats the only thing keeping me fron beinga vegetarian
•i want see the world
•ive never missed an episode of Desperate Housewives
•ive had the most boyfriends but i only count like 3
•i was almost a mother at the age of 18
•im afraid of commitment
•i believe in karma
•
•i love being alone, yet fear being by myself
•im obsessed with Robert Nesta Marley
•i love old school music
•im afraid of clowns, hospitals, animals, bugs, thunderstorms and old white men
•im afraid of living more than im afraud of dying
•ill try anything once
•i kissed a girl and i didnt like it lol
•i'll kiss almost anyone
•im not big on religion
•i have 2 bestfriends named Ashley
•i wanna get married but i dont think i ever will
•i can sleep the day away
•i'd rather text then talk in my phone
•i love Kanye West, Lauryn Hill, Common, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Teedra Moses, Jay,Talib, Mos Def, N.E.R.D., Natasha Bedingfield and bands!
•if i dont have my cell phone i dont feel safe
•i havent had sex in almost a year!
•i love post it notes!
•i have a slight case of ocd
•i lose 2 friends each year
•im extremely close to my sister
•i techinally have my own house although its my dads house
•im nocturnal
•i dropped out of college
•i plan on moving to the Uk in ³yrs
•i think all babies are ugly at first. but i'll still say awwww.
•im sarcastic as hell
•im tired of writing this list
....part 2 later
ENJOY!
•i was named after the yellowish, goldish "Amber" colored school bus lights that my dad saw after leaving the hospital to go to work.. after i was born. better than Fabien, Antoinette and Jazmin.(other name choices)
•im 21 but dont look, feel or act 21
•im soooo mean and blunt to ppl i dont care about, or if someone is getting on my nerves.
•im weird and random
•i've never dated anyone darker than me. i used to be so picky. im over that stage now
•im afraid to get fat
•i watch ATL and Love Jones all the time
•i love gangsta bang bang shoot em up movies
•i cry like a baby when i read books and during movies
•i hate when ppl stare at me, someone wants wat i want simply b/c i want it, try to prove me wrong, dirty fingernails and long fingernails on guys, dirty shoes, wrinkled clothes and dirty ears (just to name a few pet peeves)
•i love gay male friends! they are the best
•i love chicken lol thats the only thing keeping me fron beinga vegetarian
•i want see the world
•ive never missed an episode of Desperate Housewives
•ive had the most boyfriends but i only count like 3
•i was almost a mother at the age of 18
•im afraid of commitment
•i believe in karma
•
•i love being alone, yet fear being by myself
•im obsessed with Robert Nesta Marley
•i love old school music
•im afraid of clowns, hospitals, animals, bugs, thunderstorms and old white men
•im afraid of living more than im afraud of dying
•ill try anything once
•i kissed a girl and i didnt like it lol
•i'll kiss almost anyone
•im not big on religion
•i have 2 bestfriends named Ashley
•i wanna get married but i dont think i ever will
•i can sleep the day away
•i'd rather text then talk in my phone
•i love Kanye West, Lauryn Hill, Common, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Teedra Moses, Jay,Talib, Mos Def, N.E.R.D., Natasha Bedingfield and bands!
•if i dont have my cell phone i dont feel safe
•i havent had sex in almost a year!
•i love post it notes!
•i have a slight case of ocd
•i lose 2 friends each year
•im extremely close to my sister
•i techinally have my own house although its my dads house
•im nocturnal
•i dropped out of college
•i plan on moving to the Uk in ³yrs
•i think all babies are ugly at first. but i'll still say awwww.
•im sarcastic as hell
•im tired of writing this list
....part 2 later
12.16.2008
i think i can
can men and women really be friends? no attraction, no sex.. just kickin it, insightful and stimulating conversations. watch a game, eat some wings and drink a beer? Can u really have a homegirl/homeboy ands thats all it is and ever will be?
can u really have sex without catching feelings?
can u really be faithful?
can u really go a complete week without using profanity?
can u please get out my way,while im driving?
can u really be original?
can u think for yourself?
can u really stop telling ppl what ur gonna do and just do it?
can u really be single, find yourself, love yourself and respect yourself?
can u see u deserve better?
can u?
can u really have sex without catching feelings?
can u really be faithful?
can u really go a complete week without using profanity?
can u please get out my way,while im driving?
can u really be original?
can u think for yourself?
can u really stop telling ppl what ur gonna do and just do it?
can u really be single, find yourself, love yourself and respect yourself?
can u see u deserve better?
can u?
don't be lookin at me like i aint wearin no drawls
i feel like a charity case. im the single friend that my friends guy friends try to hook me up with. since when? i used to play cupid.. the match maker. Now im getting hooked up? So not cool! Okay well anyways one of my bffs her dude called me today to hook me up with his friend. i was offended at first, then was like what the hell why not. And he is muy caliente! i was sooooo nervous b/c im not with the whole meeting strangers thing, but he was so nice. Dude shook my hand. He's (Pakastain-in)
my family already thinks im weird.. so i just gave 'em one more reason to say it. So he's potential (cross ur fingers)
oh i got my ear pierced this past wknd. i forgot what its called so i'll post a pic later. i want 2 tattoos next wknd too. (my x~mas present to myself) cant wait. and YES KB i thought and researched every permanet thing i ever do. pix soon.
oh i got a new phone too. i LoVe LOvE LOVe it!! its the touch diamond by sprint.
oh i just watched Cadillac Records. lol @ Bey. i cant take her serious cussin or acting. Mos Def <-- i love that man. Movie was good, its crazy how it was back in the day. i wouldnt have survived. But Beyonce KILLS the songs. And i want the soundtrack. im a sucker for musicals and movies about bands. I was like 15 when i realized the 5 heartbeats wasn't a real band lol. but the jackson 5 (the american dream),the temprations movie, dreamgirls, ray.. all that i love those movies.
so this is really bothering me.. this chick SHE knows who she is.. she CLEARLY reads our blogs and even those ppl in my blog roll. its not a problem seeing that we had a link to the-jezebels on facebook. but she is ALL OF A SUDDEN commenting on the blogs of those we read, but doesn't say a word on ours.. so this is my shout out to u Miss Lady.. we see u lol
dear santa,
i wanna go ice skating
i want a record player
i want my dads car
i want the sex in the city collection
i want some chanel earrings
i want some burberry and chanel perfume
i want a cute watch
i want a cute leather coat
i want some stripper boots
i want some uggs
and i want a boo.
xoxo JD
yeah so x~mas is next week and im sooooo not ready for it. Christmas usually is my fav. holiday but im too lazy to shop for ppl. i dont care this year.
well thats all of my randomness.. Later
my family already thinks im weird.. so i just gave 'em one more reason to say it. So he's potential (cross ur fingers)
oh i got my ear pierced this past wknd. i forgot what its called so i'll post a pic later. i want 2 tattoos next wknd too. (my x~mas present to myself) cant wait. and YES KB i thought and researched every permanet thing i ever do. pix soon.
oh i got a new phone too. i LoVe LOvE LOVe it!! its the touch diamond by sprint.
oh i just watched Cadillac Records. lol @ Bey. i cant take her serious cussin or acting. Mos Def <-- i love that man. Movie was good, its crazy how it was back in the day. i wouldnt have survived. But Beyonce KILLS the songs. And i want the soundtrack. im a sucker for musicals and movies about bands. I was like 15 when i realized the 5 heartbeats wasn't a real band lol. but the jackson 5 (the american dream),the temprations movie, dreamgirls, ray.. all that i love those movies.
so this is really bothering me.. this chick SHE knows who she is.. she CLEARLY reads our blogs and even those ppl in my blog roll. its not a problem seeing that we had a link to the-jezebels on facebook. but she is ALL OF A SUDDEN commenting on the blogs of those we read, but doesn't say a word on ours.. so this is my shout out to u Miss Lady.. we see u lol
dear santa,
i wanna go ice skating
i want a record player
i want my dads car
i want the sex in the city collection
i want some chanel earrings
i want some burberry and chanel perfume
i want a cute watch
i want a cute leather coat
i want some stripper boots
i want some uggs
and i want a boo.
xoxo JD
yeah so x~mas is next week and im sooooo not ready for it. Christmas usually is my fav. holiday but im too lazy to shop for ppl. i dont care this year.
well thats all of my randomness.. Later
12.06.2008
Just like a star.
my tv stays on the video channels. i have to hear music at all times no matter what im doing. so at this very moment.. very second Corrine Bailey Rae is singing one of my favorite songs: Like A Star. And of course im thinking of "Free". The first time i heard this song i was talking to him. So of course it draws back sooo many memories. But for some reason im okay with the "thought" of missing him. I cant live in the past anymore. I'll never move on. We are milessssssssss away from each and were friends. Honestly i'm happy with just that.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . >>>> I want to go nat-u-ral. i've been saying it for sometime now. But everytime i tell my mom (she was a beautican) and my sister they both laugh and say girrrrrl why u wanna do that. ughh im me thats why. i dont really care about hair. its just hair. it doesnt make me or break me and hell it will grow back, but i've been getting perms since i was TWO.{____pause for reaction___) lol. but i know what your thinking. but my hair is beyoooond thick. its a good thing i guess. b/c alot of ppl think my hairs a "wig" which is funny. but i hate getting perms, i hate getting my hair done; yet i love to have it done. i just hate the process. but i look up to women like Jill Scott, E. Badu, Goapele
and Corrine. I'm obsessed with ppl who have natural hair. i'll ask a billion questions. I think thats why i love guys with locs. Although its slightly annoying now, "everyone is doing it" i still love it. i personally dont want locs at the momemnt i just want the gorgeous fro.
i think they are soooooo beautiful. i respect girls who have natural hair. it just says they don't have any hair insecurities. I think women with natural hair have a little glow about them. Their presence stands out in a room full of 50 girls. JUST MY OPINION! But i'm such a chicken. Not even going to lie. i hate braids (corn rows, micros, etc.) and ive been told its the easiest way to let the perm grow out and i'm not cutting the perm out my hair until most of my hair is natural. i just dont have the patience. so i'll be wishing until i get the courage to do it.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . >>>> I want to go nat-u-ral. i've been saying it for sometime now. But everytime i tell my mom (she was a beautican) and my sister they both laugh and say girrrrrl why u wanna do that. ughh im me thats why. i dont really care about hair. its just hair. it doesnt make me or break me and hell it will grow back, but i've been getting perms since i was TWO.{____pause for reaction___) lol. but i know what your thinking. but my hair is beyoooond thick. its a good thing i guess. b/c alot of ppl think my hairs a "wig" which is funny. but i hate getting perms, i hate getting my hair done; yet i love to have it done. i just hate the process. but i look up to women like Jill Scott, E. Badu, Goapele
and Corrine. I'm obsessed with ppl who have natural hair. i'll ask a billion questions. I think thats why i love guys with locs. Although its slightly annoying now, "everyone is doing it" i still love it. i personally dont want locs at the momemnt i just want the gorgeous fro.
i think they are soooooo beautiful. i respect girls who have natural hair. it just says they don't have any hair insecurities. I think women with natural hair have a little glow about them. Their presence stands out in a room full of 50 girls. JUST MY OPINION! But i'm such a chicken. Not even going to lie. i hate braids (corn rows, micros, etc.) and ive been told its the easiest way to let the perm grow out and i'm not cutting the perm out my hair until most of my hair is natural. i just dont have the patience. so i'll be wishing until i get the courage to do it.
11.03.2008
Suffocate or Change
So...
My life is at a serious stand still.
Halloween was pretty fun.
My grandma's blessed us with her 75th birthday on Saturday.
She doesn't look it at all. We gave her a surprise birthday party. It was really nice. Pictures coming soon!
I erased my facebook today. Guess you can say i'm tired of random mofo's writing me. Its super annoying.
I really dont have anything of importance to blog about.
So all i can say is, "PLEASE GET YOUR ASS UP TOMORROW AND VOTE!" Call everyone you know, text em, ask strangers.. get up, get out and make a difference.
Its face off time people.
My life is at a serious stand still.
Halloween was pretty fun.
My grandma's blessed us with her 75th birthday on Saturday.
She doesn't look it at all. We gave her a surprise birthday party. It was really nice. Pictures coming soon!
I erased my facebook today. Guess you can say i'm tired of random mofo's writing me. Its super annoying.
I really dont have anything of importance to blog about.
So all i can say is, "PLEASE GET YOUR ASS UP TOMORROW AND VOTE!" Call everyone you know, text em, ask strangers.. get up, get out and make a difference.
Its face off time people.
10.27.2008
I'm a single black female addicted to retail.
Its colder than that thang here! They said its supposed to snow tomorrow (that's some foolishness) Tomorrow I'm supposed to go vote. Obama or die!!
and guess what people.. dun dun dun (i gotta job) it took long enough. i do not wanna work there though.. but i cant complain i need some money.. i NEED too much stuff. my needs are usually wants though:
<--Bestey Johnson purse
3 more tattoo's. Yes 3 of em.
1 piercing
my chestnut ugg boots
this leather jacket (PICTURED BELOW)
new pea coat.
juicy perfume
nikon or canon camera. (for my amature photography purposes)
cool pix digital camera. (i own a video camera and TWO digital cameras already.)
New phone upgrade time (blackberry curve) or (instinct)*sidenote* i work for sprint now so i get a discount. i already have sprint so i decided to stay. i really want that gold blackberry but i think imma just get the red curve and buy a gold face plate.
carols daughter (products)
some new glasses (chanel)
and a Yorkshire or toy poodle =)
SAVE for hella trips me and Black Barbie are taking.
Oh i have soooo many more things i want but as you can see they are all frivolous
Love life.. uh oh.
So this guy who is pretty much the male version of me wants to "talk / talk"
im soo unsure about the situation. Yeah i want a new boo but im not sure if i wanna jeapordize our friendship. Plus he is exactly like me. down to the nitty gritty. soo wouldnt it be a little boring? Plus im still stuck on "Fred" should i give it a try or leave it alone? HELP!!
and guess what people.. dun dun dun (i gotta job) it took long enough. i do not wanna work there though.. but i cant complain i need some money.. i NEED too much stuff. my needs are usually wants though:
<--Bestey Johnson purse3 more tattoo's. Yes 3 of em.
1 piercing
my chestnut ugg boots
this leather jacket (PICTURED BELOW)
new pea coat.
juicy perfume
nikon or canon camera. (for my amature photography purposes)
cool pix digital camera. (i own a video camera and TWO digital cameras already.)
New phone upgrade time (blackberry curve) or (instinct)*sidenote* i work for sprint now so i get a discount. i already have sprint so i decided to stay. i really want that gold blackberry but i think imma just get the red curve and buy a gold face plate.
carols daughter (products)
some new glasses (chanel)
and a Yorkshire or toy poodle =)
SAVE for hella trips me and Black Barbie are taking.
Oh i have soooo many more things i want but as you can see they are all frivolous
Love life.. uh oh.
So this guy who is pretty much the male version of me wants to "talk / talk"
im soo unsure about the situation. Yeah i want a new boo but im not sure if i wanna jeapordize our friendship. Plus he is exactly like me. down to the nitty gritty. soo wouldnt it be a little boring? Plus im still stuck on "Fred" should i give it a try or leave it alone? HELP!!
9.24.2008
Hey Mr. Postman!
I just got off the phone telling my bestfriend "The Black Barbie" about my lovely day. Basically today (its still Tues. i havent been to sleep yet)
I had an instant orgasm! lol Okay maybe that’s blunt. But I swore I heard someone at the door, so I opened it and there standing about 6’1 -ish was this cocky, hazel brown eyed, pearly white teeth --->MAIL MAN! Haha. Yes I said it the mail man!!! He had a tattoo on his neck too (my guilty pleasure) I was seriously in a trance, I didn’t even hear what he was saying until he repeated, “Ma’am did you hear me.” Hella embarrassed.. so I came out of my "go go gadget flow" and said, “No I’m sorry what did you say.” He repeated, “Do you want me to hand u the mail or put it in the box.” I unlocked the screen and he handed me the mail. As doing so he caught a glimpse of the tattoo on wrist (making small talk) he asked what did it say. I told him, “Follow Your Dreams.” He smiled and said. "Well make sure you do that." Gave me a wink and walked off saying “Have a nice day” I snapped back “You too.”
O.M.G!!! Who would have known I would have a run in with a sexy mail man???? He reminded me of Terrence from 106th and park. Just a tab bit darker. I should of invited him in for something to eat. (Haha if u know what I mean.) yup yup. Cant wait until 11:30 tomorrow. (hopefully he wasn’t standing in for anyone)
I had an instant orgasm! lol Okay maybe that’s blunt. But I swore I heard someone at the door, so I opened it and there standing about 6’1 -ish was this cocky, hazel brown eyed, pearly white teeth --->MAIL MAN! Haha. Yes I said it the mail man!!! He had a tattoo on his neck too (my guilty pleasure) I was seriously in a trance, I didn’t even hear what he was saying until he repeated, “Ma’am did you hear me.” Hella embarrassed.. so I came out of my "go go gadget flow" and said, “No I’m sorry what did you say.” He repeated, “Do you want me to hand u the mail or put it in the box.” I unlocked the screen and he handed me the mail. As doing so he caught a glimpse of the tattoo on wrist (making small talk) he asked what did it say. I told him, “Follow Your Dreams.” He smiled and said. "Well make sure you do that." Gave me a wink and walked off saying “Have a nice day” I snapped back “You too.”
O.M.G!!! Who would have known I would have a run in with a sexy mail man???? He reminded me of Terrence from 106th and park. Just a tab bit darker. I should of invited him in for something to eat. (Haha if u know what I mean.) yup yup. Cant wait until 11:30 tomorrow. (hopefully he wasn’t standing in for anyone)
8.26.2008
HERE WE GO.. HERE WE GO AGAIN!
WARNING: RANDOM BLOGGING!
I CANT SLEEP! I never can sleep! I am seriously nocturnal. I was watching tv and saw the commercial {Lunista} for the sleeping pills. I know i cant really swallow pills but i need to learn. Im really considering sleeping pills though. Anywho. So im only blogging because my fellow (jezebel) Ashley blogged and put me in the mix. NO IM NOT IN LOVE ASHLEY!! lol Its soooo a difference from being in love and loving someone. I love him not in love with him. lol does that make sense? Well it makes sense to me. Basically its a guy from college. I kicked it with him while I was there and liked him A-LOT but were never official. (thinking of that dumb ass official girl song by cassie) But were just on good terms. This will last for about a week.. then i'll hate him again. Its really pointless talking to him. I mean we are hundreds of thousands of miles away.
Enough about him.
Im really frustrated. If one more person calls asking me to watch their kids. Babysitting was fun when i was 12 and 13. Im damn near 21. Sorry i dont have kids.. but dont expect me to do your job for you. I dont mind watching my niece because she's MY niece. But little cousins.. naw im coo. I cant be mean to my family. But i really dont wanna watch them. My cousin talking about can u come over before they go to sleep and make sure they get on the bus. Nigga how about can i get up to see them get on that sucka. My sleeping habits are off! Oh well
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”- Buddha
7.23.2008
Conversate is not a word.
I think i have a problem. what is it?? PEOPLE!!! i seriously do not like them.
so this blog is dedicated to the billions of people in the world and all the stuff that bothers me.
"Amber's Pet Peeves"
so this blog is dedicated to the billions of people in the world and all the stuff that bothers me.
"Amber's Pet Peeves"
- dirty fingers nails
- when ppl cough and dont cover their mouths
- gum poppers
- stinky arm pitts
- deodrant clumps
- ashy knuckles
- dirty nails
- when dudes sag
- dudes with wet curly hair
- when dudes think their cuter then females
- black socks with white shoes
- dirty black forces
- gold teeth
- when people are loud for no reason
- when ppl dress alike.
- chipped nail polish
- fat boys
- when fat girls wear to little girls
- when skinny girls wear to big clothes
- flies, insects, cats
More to come
7.21.2008
I AM Legend.. in my mind atleast
this blog is dedicated to my bestfriend Ashley. lol heeeeey girl.
basically i havent blogged in foreverrrr. my bad.
sooo much to talk about.
i leave boring oh indiana in like 2 1/2 weeks. cant wait
wonder if Mr. C is going to be different.
cant believe i havent been anywhere on summer vaca in over 2 years!!
next year im outta here. tryna cool out on the victoria harbour in japan.
im suuuuuuuper late. but the media trying to bash my girl E.Badu. yall weak for that.
ppl are tooooo caught up on celebrites. we fail to realize they are REAL ppl just like us.
weekend wackness. the 38th annual indianapolis black expo was the past wknd. lets sum it up. over 30 arrest.. racist police.. thousands of black ppl. $5.00 gas.. trash everywhere. mosquitos. buzzin. hair frizzy. face sweating. clubs taxin. high wasted jeans (hate em). bad weaves. dusty feet. spinnin rims. boomin systems. raggedy outfits. =wacknesssss. i hate expo.
life. im content. i feel like im missing something but i dont know what.
im focused like Jay Z tryna get a billi.
hustlin like rick ross.
chillin with my girls actin silly.
tryna fly to miami with big willie.
done rhymin hope u feel me.
=) xoxo gossip girl.
basically i havent blogged in foreverrrr. my bad.
sooo much to talk about.
i leave boring oh indiana in like 2 1/2 weeks. cant wait
wonder if Mr. C is going to be different.
cant believe i havent been anywhere on summer vaca in over 2 years!!
next year im outta here. tryna cool out on the victoria harbour in japan.
im suuuuuuuper late. but the media trying to bash my girl E.Badu. yall weak for that.
ppl are tooooo caught up on celebrites. we fail to realize they are REAL ppl just like us.
weekend wackness. the 38th annual indianapolis black expo was the past wknd. lets sum it up. over 30 arrest.. racist police.. thousands of black ppl. $5.00 gas.. trash everywhere. mosquitos. buzzin. hair frizzy. face sweating. clubs taxin. high wasted jeans (hate em). bad weaves. dusty feet. spinnin rims. boomin systems. raggedy outfits. =wacknesssss. i hate expo.
life. im content. i feel like im missing something but i dont know what.
im focused like Jay Z tryna get a billi.
hustlin like rick ross.
chillin with my girls actin silly.
tryna fly to miami with big willie.
done rhymin hope u feel me.
=) xoxo gossip girl.
7.07.2008
i'm coooo
weekend wrap up.
Thurs.
- went to the ultra ice lounge with Ashley-Ashley. and her dad. haha. sounds crazy but her pops is mad coo. & he got some drank... and it was reggae night. if u didnt know i [heart ] reggae music and the culture in general sooo i had fun. i dont think Ashley Ashley was feelin it tho. but it was coooo.
Friday.
- the 4th. okay. the day started out all yucky. our family effin cancelled the cookout. so i went to the mall with Ashley-Ashley and was lookin 4 sum shoes to wear for the night. our dumb asses didnt know the malls closed early so we just downtown shoppin and smilin like wow its not crowded at all. not knowing we had like 7 minutes until it closed.
- saw my cousin robyn there. her bad ass son is chasing me around the stores with "poppers, snappers" and is throwing them at me. it was funny.. UNTIL his ass broke my necklace.
- the is my first year not going downtown with my family to watch the fireworks. corny but its just something we do. so it was kinda sad.
- went over ashley-ashleys grandparents house.. grubbed. lite up our own fireworks. did some karokee :] and we were supposed to go out. didnt though. loooong story. kicked it with my bro reggis.. chatted it up and watched my fav. movie love jones. end of nite.
Saturday.
Sunday.
- my dad oh annoying self woke me up at like 10 talking about get up were going to the park. family time. ughhh nigga please. i dont do parks. insects flying. sun blazin. ughh not feelin it. so i rolled over and went back to sleep.
- went over my cousin whitleys.
- went to the park w/ my fam. it was good to see everyone. it was a mini fam reunion. all my fam from detroit came down. [except my fav. shannon. ughh] didnt eat. was being wayyy to sociable.
- went to texas rd house. saw jenny, jesse, shawna and sarah l... those were my girlies.
- went out. broadripple is coooo. bleeker street was coooo too. just hot as hell. [partied with my cousins, ashley, the boys bbh, oh clinton oh fake ass too] left the club. being sociable. i actually gave my REAL number out. kudos to me. lol
- lol to. the guy almost gettin ran over by a car just to cross the street and attempt to spit game at me , lol to my street corner cooooo ass friend from england, lol to adam & the crew not being able to get in the club "fake id cant get in the club lookin ass" over all it was a fun filled wknd full of laughter, family, friends, and eats. cant get no betta!
- end of the wknd results. almost got shot ridin down 38th street. saw some dude get jumped. so sad but atleast they werent shootin. nap is crazzzy
- seriously planned on going to church. i seriously slept in until 3 pm. toooo trifilin. but thats the way it goes when try to live this party/ single life.
- went to my little baby cousin blakes b.day party. day 2 with the fam. had fun
- currently chillin with my bestfriend ashley. sad shes leaving tomorrow. its bittersweet. i feel like the summers over now =[ .. well it damn near is
- thats my weekend folks.
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