a bunch of nothin

yall im sooo sorry. i really have no time what-so-eva to blog.
forgive me

sooo heres an update of my life

job.. have one. thats good. hate it. thats bad real bad michael jackson
im looking for something else tho. i hate the hoes i work with

looking for a new whip. i want a suv. but its in gods hands. ill be thankful for whatever he blesses me with

relationship... i gotta lotta that. im good in that department. although my "he" pissed me off. im good.

still no babies so everythings gravy.

random im listening to the nicki minaj remix of go hard. its goes hard. fareal.
download here

im trying to have a safe summer. so many people have being dying. i dont get it. no one understands death. but everyone should be grateful of life.. because when its our time to go we have no control over it.

oh and i died my hair. red chunky streaks. im in love with it
i did it last spring 07

me in the middle

this time its not as bold



i been clubbing non stop. last week. i went out EVERY NIGHT SUM, MON, TUES, WED SKIP THURS FRI AND SAT. im worn theeee hell out. but im living life up.

well thats my life.
until next time

oh PS. KANYE IS OFFICIALLY GOING ON TOUR. YESSSSSSSSSSSS IM TOOOOOO EXCITED =]
--ill keep ya posted.

later

I gotta find my peace of mind.

So like Amber said I have to bring happiness to myself..
And since i feel like i'm doing absolutely nothing with my life
i think i'm going to volunteer and join the CCS. (cross cultural solutions)
Its something like the peace corps but its different in many ways.
Its a not for profit independent organization. I have a friend who goes to Russia for a month every year with her church and she loves it. So I think i'm going to do the insight abroad program, which is a one-week volunteer program offered in Brazil, China, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Morocco, Peru, Russia, and Thailand. You can choose to volunteer from 1 to 12 weeks, but i need to start off small. lol The only downside is i have to raise $1,898 dollars. It really isn't that much but seeing that were in a recession its a-lot. It includes my activities fees, lodging, meals, transportation, local and international phone calls and my travel and medical insurance. Oh and i have to pay for my own airfare. I just talked to a lady on the phone about it and shes supposed to send my more information in the mail. But this is something I've always wanted to do.. So hopefully everything works out for the best.

Oh and my current job is laying us ALL off. They didnt renew their contract w/ the building in which were located, nor w/ sprint so were bascially S.O.L. on April 1st. They told us if we stay until 4-1-09 we can get unemployment. (for those of you who know anything about unemployment you know it takes months to kick it) So its damn near stupid to stay. I've been looking for another job. I hate that job, but i'm so lazy and dont feel like finding a new one. I have been going to these temp to hire places, so hopefully i can find something that will last me to until mid-June (thats when i move) I've also been looking to work at a shelter for the homeless. I just want to give back the best way i can. And i have a huge soft spot for homeless people. If not a shelter than I might try to work back at the boys and girls club. (that was the best job i ever had) As much as i say i dont want kids, they bring me happiness. Well cross your fingers for me.. I hate being broke so i need some employment like a-sap.



p.s. Drake's So Far Gone cd is the shhhhhhhit! He's a beast.

My life HAS to be a sitcom

Life Rundown.. I swear my life is a sitcom. I still think its just like Truman Show or better yet maybe i'm being punked. I'm just waiting on Ashton Kutcher to pop up from a bush screaming bitch u just got punked. Since thats how my life seems
Soooo lets see..
The good:
I talked to the lady from admissions for the school I'm transferring to in Atlanta. She confirmed that i start school on July 7th. Too geeked. so I'm in the process of fin aid! My favorite..NOT! I'm flying to Atlanta on Thursday w/ my girls, so I'll probably make a stop by the school.

Oh and i met a new little booty. {that's what me and the bff calls new potential boo's] he's funny and coo as hell.. SO FAR ATLEAST! I promise these guys last 2 -3 days then I'll be over the situation.

this past wknd. i found a new hangout spot. too excited. Indianapolis sucks ass to me and I'm over the club scenes here. i hang out at the bougee black clubs, ghetto black clubs, bars with crazy white folk..fuckin EVERYWHERE and still hate the club scene [secretly] lol. So i finally went to this little comedy place with my cousins and bff. My cousin has been trying to get me to go there for months now! i had sooooooooooo much fun. You can get drunk and laugh your ass off literally. The comics were pretty funny and it was a chill hangout spot (very date appropriate since i like laughing) The only bad thing is its a two drink minimum and i don't like buying my own drinks.

The bad:
At work..i almost committed suicide. LITERALLY. i hate that fuckin place. i hate stupid bitch ass dumb ass effin customers who call in for dumb ass shit..{excuse the profanity, just thinking of it pisses me off} especially when they try to get me to adjust their account yet they are cussin at me. "uuugh no bitch I'm not giving you shit." today i almost got fired SWEAR! i was like, "Ma'am your going to have to calm the [--paused almost cussed] your going to have to calm down so i can help you." a sup was walking by. luckily he was a coo supervisor who likes me and was like you cant talk like that. ugh why not. I NEED TO FIND A NEW JOB!!!

The Ugly:
It seems like when i make 2 steps forward. I'm knocked back four more. Like sooo much bullshit has happened THIS YEAR.. its only the 26Th day of January. The only great thing is Obama being president. Everything else is bullshit. well sorta. Its alot of little things that's happening but the shits adding up. I'm the type of person to smile although its nothing to smile about. I just don't feel the need to complain all day. It never solves anything. plus i hate people asking me, whats wrong. I want to punch them in the face when they ask me that. Yeah i know you care, but your being nosey and adding more fuel to the fire. Just leave me alone. So instead of showing I'm mad.. i smile and listen to their bullshit life stories and play my Dr. Phil role that so many people look at me as. Don't get me wrong.. i don't mind giving advice but sometimes its like people take me for granted.. like i don't have my own problems.


Well that's life. So far. I'll post again later this week.. i need to start packing. i have clothes everywhere.

stay tuned for the next episode of


L A T E R

Bang Bang Shoot Em.

I loooooooooove Sade. [the singer] one of my favorite songs of all time is By your side. The song is so beautiful. Its calming to me. Although I dont have anyone actually by myside "boyfriend or significant other" It still feels good to me. IDK kind of weird i guess but i just love it [ im listening to it now.. im always listening to music] listen with me

AnywhoToday.. nothing really happended
My bestfriend and i have been making promises to ourselves to not eat fast food during the week. And we actually made it [ so proud of us] i need to lose some major pounds before March. So i can look cute in my dress. Oh and i need to be skintee by June {when i move to ATL} im determined!!!


I had to work my slave shift today. 3-11:30 or whenever your last call is. I work for sprint for the millioneth time {if u didnt know} And i HATEEEE IT! (*note* if your a sprint customer and you call in all the EFFIN TIME for STUPID EFFIN REASONS.. then shame on you! I cant stand your ass!!) Well today was actually fun. I kept putting my annoying customers on hold to talk to my {soon to be roommate} we clowned the entire day.. And our supervisor asked us to come over his house for a house warming {in the near future} i was like ughh im not buying u shit! {he's a young black, short fat guy who thinks he's that nigga} he was like i dont want shit from you just come and get fucked up. I was like oh liquor well im down! lol so trifilin. but i love free liquor its the best! lol but this nigga bet not try shit or i will bring out my kung-fu karate chop on his ass! lol
Oh and its this really cute guy who works with me. As my friend Salene would say, he's The "bang bang shoot em up" type lol.

Me and the roomie Salene just look and admire him all day. Tattoos everywhere, can dress and drives a bmw [helll-o $$$$] naw but i vowed to never talk to a guy i worked with again. it NEVER works out! he's just nice to look at though.
Now its Thursday night and im freakin off tomorrow and i have nothing to do!
So i guess i'll just visit my blog roll and catch up

[tmrw]
my sisters bff and i have to go and try on our freakin dresses. i dont want to because i have to wake up early when i should be sleepin in, but whatever! Oh and i know im shopping at the mall whenever were done with that! i saw theee cutest boots and i must go grab them
well im rambling.. so tootles!

xoxo Amber ---->> i miss the Jayne Dough signature<--- wasnt it so creative of me? lol.

I hate being responsible.

i gave up my ticket to the usher concert (which was tonight in Chicago) to do guess what yall--->>> (WORK!!!!!!!!!!) 0MG! isnt that crazy. i was telling everyone tonight at work and they all gave me these crazy looks. haha. but im in training right now and if i miss it its a wrap. i can kiss the job goodbye. i hate being grown up and having to make real decisions. im so jealous and i know my bff (the black barbie) was pissed, but she better have fun seeing her love USHER! im sorry girl. i'll make it up i swear.

i hate doing all this soul searching.. especially when you search for answers and you still dont know. questions like whats my purpose? i dont have any kids, no boyfriend, im not in school (not by choice), and im not having fun with my life. so i just ask why am i here. not that i would EVERRRRRRRRR consider taking my life but it sucks living life and waking up with nothing to look forward to but the time passing away. anyone else ever feel that way?

i really feel like i need some new friends, (nothings wrong with the 3 i have) S-Dot lives in Kentucky, Black Barbie lives about an hour away and bf Ashley-Ashley works two jobs and its a done deal with us doing anything. So you can kind of see where the line of boredom can fall into place.
I just wanna travel and see the world. Venture out and do new things, meet new people, be in new places. But its easier said than done.
Somedays are good, some are bad. Todays just bad.

Don't call it a come back..

Wow. I havent blogged in forever. Sorry. The internet connection in my house wasn’t working. (that’s why) But don't call it a come back. I will be posting more often.
So lets play catch up... No i didnt run off and get married to the mailman.. Why?? Because he was undeniably a effin stand in. The next day I waited of course and some old ass black man came walking up grinning. I just rolled my eyes. I hate when old men try to hit on me. Its fuckin disgusting. Im pretty sure you have a niece, daughter.. fuck that probably a granddaughter my age. But anyways I was super mad.
Being broke aint no joke. My job search is still a job search. Lol just cross your fingers for me because i have to get the grind.
I’ve been going out like a crazed woman. Techno Clubs, Chilled spots (lounges) hip hop clubs.. Just clubbin. Hell I’m 21. This is what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m not really one to give my number out in the club, because I’m a club sipper and you all know liquor makes everyone look better.. So no new boo alerts.

Classic was Hmmmm. Dunno what to say about it. I went out the entire weekend. I had an okay time. I really hate going out with a bunch of girls because that usually equals a bunch of attitudes {super annoying} But one of the nights we went out we ran into Brian McKnight and Mike Epps at the club. (funny story) Brian McKnight was hitting on my bff The Black Barbie. It was hella funny. We took some pictures with him. (Real Groupie-ish)

I was super sad because I thought my brother James and my cousins would be in town but they didn’t come. So it kinda took away from the excitement. But I still saw a few of my homeboys from school.
Exciting news so today my BFF The Black Barbie just called me talking about to Usher concert. She is in LOVE with that man. So we will be there in November (in the Chi) We ♥ the Chi by the way. So it will be great times. Can't wait! I will make sure she will meet him. She must! lol Hopefully while we are there we can run into Common if he's not caking with Serena.. or hell kick it with Uncle Ye. That would be lovely.. just a thought.

Well i'm back bitches. So comment and come back tomorrow. I will post. I promise.

eff the police

So i def. quit my boring ass job yesterday!!!!
mistake.. maybe?
taking initiative.. yes!!

ugh i really dont care. i mean yeah i need the money.. but i was over that job.
i didnt talk to anyone there fareal. i never really cared for the police anyways. haha

Now here i go again.. job searching. this shit is whack as crack.!! i hate it. but a girls gotta do what shes gotta do. i told Ashley T. yesterday.. at first she was all mad because that meant no black arts. i really do wanna go.. i need a VACA but whatever. i was looking forward to seeing some ppl. but then again i would of been too drunk to remember. lol but we are considering going to the taste of chicago. idk though. its not that fun anymore. i mean i can chill out and listen to bands all day.. but i know ashley wont be down for that. so idk. i know my dad is going so i might just go with him..

and im bored again.. i want a boyfriend (mood).. lets be real. i dont want a boyfriend i want someone to be there. someone who cares. someone who i like bein around. good company. eye candy too. thats all. i just need a real coo friend. im not feeling the whole ex situation. they are my ex's for a reason. i dont like the recycled boyfriend thing. thats sooo 2000. lol .

but i need to just progress forward.
i feel like everything is in slow motion around me. idk if im bitter or what but im off of damn near everyone. its old. i love everyone but im done caring.. (if that makes sense) ppl always nagging about stupid shit and staying in this negative light.. i have to do me. like fareal. AND indiana is NOT where its at!! i gotta get outta this place!

well peace and love. ttyl

Sex in the city

Happy Friday!! Geez this has been the longest week ever. im a party pooper now with this job. so i've been trying to hangout. it really isnt working. i hung out with my cousin and his friends on wednesday night.. didnt get home until 3am. ughh had to be up at 6am for work. soo not cute. lol but i did have fun.

Im so geeked about today. Im going to see Sex in The City with my besties.i see everyone all of a sudden jumpin on the SJP bandwagon. its coo tho.

im in a very mellow mood. i've been writing poetry like crazy. trying to get material together so i can record a cd!! Please pray for my mind. Im trying to give yall so sick lines. its hard and challenging but worth it.

im praying for the world to change.. just like john meyer.. haha honestly its soo much imitation, hating, violence and corruption its hard trying to stay focused.

Until Next Time.. have a blessed weekend loved ones!